guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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