You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
