Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She announced her abortion via fbk
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Is it penis luge time yet?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
