chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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