I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
