Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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