im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
