'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
