i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
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She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
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Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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