did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
