did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize