ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i think my cat just said my name.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize