it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize