sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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