NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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