I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
