Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
