one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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