I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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