Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
