its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
