Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
