im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
