You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The uberlube is also flammable
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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