never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
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just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!