I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.