You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will