Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.