Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize