In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
