You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
