So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
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I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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