Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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