Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize