we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
