i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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