sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(