Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.