Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor