I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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