I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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