there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
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five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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