I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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