just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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