Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
