marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
