Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize