If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
