somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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