I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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