Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I've blown a few things in my day
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
