I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
