Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
