when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
