Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
