I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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