It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
