i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
