I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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