Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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