And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
