My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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