I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
