you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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