is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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