I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
