she was so not down for the gang bang
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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