Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize