I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
